Is He Or Isn't He? Page 19

  Paige laughed. “That sounds like a hoot!”

  “So, are you ready?” Anthony asked as they neared Max’s building.

  “What’s the plan again?”

  “We tell the doorman we’re here to see Felix. When we get up to Felix’s place, we tell him we came to personally invite him to a party we’re having. His ego will love it and it won’t make him suspicious.”

  “We’re having a party?”

  “We are now.”

  “And then? How are we going to get into Max’s apartment? We don’t have a key, remember?”

  “His parents are having a party tonight. I’m sure tons of hired help are coming and going from their apartment. All we have to do is bide our time and we’ll be able to slip in and slip out, sight unseen.”

  “The only thing I’m seeing is trouble.”

  Anthony sighed. “Paige, must you always worry? This is going to work. Trust me.”

  When they got to the building they told the uniformed doorman that they were there to see Felix. He rang up and five seconds later they were allowed to take the elevator to the tenth floor.

  “So far, so good,” Anthony said, taking off his sunglasses.

  “If I had a nickel for every time I’d heard you say that,” Paige muttered under her breath.

  “Very funny! Just leave everything to me, okay?”

  Felix was waiting for them when they reached his apartment. He had a totally surprised look on his face.

  “It is you,” Felix said, his voice filled with disbelief.

  Anthony threw out his arms. “Who else?”

  “When the doorman told me you were here to see me, I wasn’t sure if he’d gotten the name right. When was the last time you stopped by, Tony? Five? Ten years ago?”

  “You’re such a kidder,” Anthony said as he and Paige followed Felix into a book-lined living room. Felix sat in a brown leather armchair while Anthony and Paige sat on the couch.

  “To what do I owe this visit?” Felix asked, a suspicious look on his face. “What do you want?”

  Anthony knew it was time for the next phase of his plan. Good thing he’d thought ahead.

  “Mind if I take this off?” Anthony asked, unbelting his trench coat. “It’s a little hot in here.”

  Felix shrugged. “Sure.”

  Anthony noticed Paige’s mouth drop open as he took off his trenchcoat. He couldn’t blame her. Instead of wearing a bulky sweater suitable to the blustery October weather outside and his usual loose fitting jeans, he was wearing a tight muscle shirt that showed off his arms and chest and jeans that were one size too small. (He’d had to lay down on his bed and take a deep breath to get them zipped up. Girls weren’t the only ones who suffered to look good!) He’d purposely chosen the tight-fitting clothes because he knew they showed him off and he needed to use his body to distract Felix. Kind of like what his gay James Bond would do when facing off against his nemesis.

  From the glazed look in Felix’s eyes, he could see he was focused on one thing: him.

  Success!

  “So, Felix, Paige and I are having a party later this month and we’d love it if you could come. You don’t have to cover it for your column, but you can if you want.”

  “Do you have a date for this party?” Felix asked.

  “It’ll probably be on a Saturday night,” Anthony said.

  “Not that kind of date,” Felix said. “Have you asked someone to be your date?”

  Felix’s question threw him and Anthony answered without thinking. “A date? No. Why?”

  “Because I’d love to be your date that night.”

  “You would?” Anthony almost choked on the words.

  “I hate going to parties alone and at the moment I’m between boyfriends. We had such a great time at my birthday party, but you left too early and then you never came to the Clubhouse.” Felix pouted. “Don’t you like me, Anthony?”

  Awk! Awkward silence. Awkward silence! Anthony scrambled for an answer. What do I say to this egomaniac to keep him happy?

  “Of course I like you, Felix. You’re one of my oldest friends.”

  Did that sound as lame as I thought it did? Anthony wondered.

  Felix got a miffed look on his face.

  Uh-oh. It did. Wrong answer. Anthony gave a Paige a desperate look. Help!

  “If you don’t want me to come as your date, just say so,” Felix said, a pissy tone creeping into his voice.

  Save me from drama queens! Anthony silently cried.

  “Of course Anthony wants you to come as his date!” Paige exclaimed in a rush. “After all these years of being friends, you caught him by surprise asking to be his date. Isn’t that right, Anthony?”

  Anthony didn’t reply. Felix? His date? Ick! He’d probably be touchy-feely the entire night. He’d outfoxed himself with this outfit. Argh! Who knew it would produce such great results? On the wrong guy! What had he been thinking? And then there was Max! Yikes! Max was probably going to be at the party and if he saw Felix hanging all over him, he’d think they were boyfriends. And if he were gay, he’d think Anthony was off limits!

  “Anthony!”

  Paige’s voice cut into his thoughts and Anthony felt her give him a not so gentle kick in the ankle.

  “Felix, I really want you to come to our party.” Anthony had to force out his next words. “And since I don’t have a date, your idea sounds great.”

  “You can be co-hosts,” Paige said.

  “When I’m invited to a party, I don’t do any hosting,” Felix sniffed. “I’m there to be entertained.”

  I’d like to entertain you with a good swift kick in the butt! Anthony thought.

  “So, ask me,” Felix said.

  Anthony was confused. “Ask you what?”

  “To be your date.”

  “I just did.”

  Felix shook his head. “No, you didn’t. You said my idea sounded great. But you didn’t ask me.”

  Anthony could feel his Italian temper start to rise. They’d gotten into the building; they’d spent more than enough time with Felix so they could leave without it looking suspicious. Did he really need to put up with his demands?

  He felt Paige’s hand on his, giving a warning squeeze. Anthony smiled, trying not to grind his teeth.

  “Felix, will you be my date the night of my party?”

  “I’ll think about it and let you know.”

  “What?!” Anthony almost jumped up off the couch, ready to wring Felix’s neck.

  “Anthony, you know how busy my social schedule is. I’m always being invited to parties. And you don’t even know when your party is going to be. I’m sure my answer will be yes, but touch base with me in the next couple of days.”

  Anthony got to his feet. He’d had enough of Felix for one afternoon. “Come on, Paige.” He grabbed her by the hand, yanking her off the couch. “Let’s go.”

  “We really hope you can make it,” Paige called out as Anthony dragged her out of the apartment.

  “Can you believe that guy?” Anthony fumed once they were out in the hallway.

  “Could you please let go of my arm before you tear it out of its socket?”

  “Oops. Sorry,” Anthony said as he pressed the up button for the elevator.

  Paige rubbed her shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me what was under that trench coat?”

  Anthony gave Paige a smug smile. “Didn’t think I had a body that buff, did you?”

  “Have you been secretly working out?”

  “I’ve been using my gym membership more than I have in the past,” Anthony admitted.

  “And that’s because?”

  “Because I need to look good, Paige! You know. For Max. Just in case he plays for my team.”

  The elevator arrived and they stepped into it, pressing the button for the twentieth floor.

  “Well, it got results.”

  Anthony rolled his eyes. “More than what I was expecting.”

  “Felix likes Anthony! Felix like
s Anthony!” Paige teased in a sing-song voice.

  Anthony covered his ears. “Stop! Please! You’re torturing me.”

  “I told you he likes you!” Paige said, a smug smile on her face. “But you wouldn’t listen to me.”

  “He doesn’t like me.”

  “He doesn’t?”

  “No. The only thing Felix likes is playing games with people. He likes calling the shots and pulling the strings. The fact that I don’t want to date him makes him want to date me. I’ve known Felix a lot longer than you have. Trust me, that’s all it is. Oh, and he wants to stop me from getting Max!”

  The elevator bell dinged and the doors opened to the twentieth floor.

  “Well, here we are,” Paige said, stepping out of the elevator. “What’s our next move?”

  “Now we wait.”

  “For how long?”

  “As long as it takes.”

  “In case you didn’t notice when we came in, the building has video monitors. I’m sure the doorman will get suspicious if he sees us lurking in the hallway.”

  “We’re not going to get caught lurking!” Anthony said as they approached apartment 20G. “Look, the front door is open! Come on!”

  Anthony grabbed the door before it closed, listening for movement on the other side. After a minute, he slowly opened the door and peeked inside. “The coast is clear!”

  “Wow! This place is huge!”

  Max’s apartment was a three-level duplex decorated very simply. There were shiny hardwood floors, Mission Oak–style furniture and lots of artwork on the walls.

  “I feel like I’m in a museum,” Paige whispered as she admired the paintings. “Look at this one! It’s a Monet!”

  “Paige, we don’t have time for a tour,” Anthony said, heading for the stairs. “We’ve got to find Max’s room. It must be upstairs.”

  When they reached the third floor, they started opening doors. They found Max’s bedroom when they opened the second door. Like the rest of the apartment, the décor of the room was very simple. There was a bed, a desk with a computer, a bookcase and a dresser. The walls were bare except for some framed landscapes.

  “What are we looking for?” Paige asked.

  “I don’t know,” Max said. “We’ll know it when we find it.”

  “This room is as neat as a pin,” Paige said.

  “Maybe his father is a neat freak. You know, like Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest. Remember that line with the maid? ‘I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the dirt!’ Or when she bopped Christina on the head with a can of cleanser?”

  “Anthony, we don’t have time to be discussing good-bad movies.”

  “Right. You start in the closet and I’ll look in the dresser drawers.”

  “I feel so guilty doing this,” Paige said. “It’s an invasion of privacy.”

  “It’s not like we’re looking for something we can blackmail him with!” Anthony said. “We’re just trying to figure him out.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t want to be figured out,” Paige said, as she began sorting through the hangers in Max’s closet. “Maybe we should respect that.”

  “Too late now. We’re here. Find anything?”

  “Nope.”

  Anthony headed over to the bookcase. There were novels by Tom Clancy, Dean Koontz, Stephen King and Robert Ludlum. “Guy” books. Where were the novels by Edmund White? William J. Mann? Bart Yates? Alan Hollinghurst? He’d even settle for a Danielle Steel novel!

  “I think we’ve struck out,” Paige said.

  “Check under his mattress. There’s got to be a magazine under there.”

  “Is that where you hide yours?”

  “I’m not admitting that I buy those types of magazines, but if I did, I’d be much more clever with my hiding space. I’d never stick a magazine under my mattress.”

  Paige lifted the mattress and took a peek. “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?” Anthony gasped. “Not even an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog?”

  “Nada. Zip.” Paige dropped the mattress and made sure the sheets were tucked back in and the bedspread was smooth. “It looks like this mission is a failure.”

  “We’ve got to get answers before our party!” Anthony insisted. “There’s no way I’m locking lips with Felix again. No way! And you know he’s going to want to.”

  “I think the two of you make a cute couple,” Paige teased.

  “That’s not funny!”

  “Where’s your sense of humor?”

  “I left it downstairs.” Anthony checked the time on his watch. “We’d better get out of here.”

  “Should we check his computer before we go? Maybe we can see what websites he’s visited.”

  “Good idea, but he probably has a password.” Anthony sighed. “I guess we’ve struck out. So much for my bright idea.”

  Anthony and Paige were making their way back to the first floor when a voice called out to them.

  “Hey! You two! What are you doing up there?”

  Anthony and Paige froze in their tracks.

  “Oh no! We’re caught,” Paige whispered. “What do we do? What do we do?”

  “Don’t panic.” Anthony turned around with a smile, facing an older woman with a teased silver bouffant and wearing a black-and-white maid’s uniform. “Hi. We’re here to help with tonight’s party. The agency sent us. The front door was open so we let ourselves in.”

  “Finally! Follow me.”

  “Lead the way,” Anthony said.

  “Anthony, what are you doing?” Paige hissed.

  “You don’t want to get arrested, do you?”

  “No!”

  “Then just do what I do and we should be fine.”

  They arrived in the laundry room where the maid pointed out a pile of wrinkled tablecloths and linen napkins on an ironing board. There had to be at least a hundred napkins.

  “Those need to be ironed for tonight’s party,” the maid instructed.

  Anthony nodded his head. “Right. Ironed.”

  “Call me when you’re done.”

  Anthony saluted the maid. “Will do!”

  The maid turned to Paige. “You come with me.”

  Paige widened her eyes at Anthony who indicated with his that she should do whatever the maid told her. After shooting Anthony a dark look, Paige left the laundry room.

  After they left, Anthony inspected the tablecloths and pile of napkins. Okay, this shouldn’t be too hard. Just turn on the iron and rub it back and forth over the fabric. Piece of cake.

  Anthony turned on the iron and ran it over a tablecloth. He expected the wrinkles to disappear but they didn’t. Hmm. Maybe the setting needed to be higher. Anthony turned the knob and tried again. Still nothing. He tried to remember what his family’s maid, Wanda, did when she was ironing. Sometimes she had a bottle of water that she spritzed on the clothes she was ironing.

  Anthony left the iron face down on the tablecloth and went to look for a spray bottle. When he got back to the ironing board, he could see wisps of black smoke wafting off the tablecloth. Uh-oh. Not a good sign.

  Anthony removed the iron to find a scorched triangle in the middle of the tablecloth. Yikes!

  He rolled the tablecloth up into a ball, trying to decide what he should do with it. Finally, he tossed it into the dryer. Beginner’s mistake. He’d do better with the next one.

  Six scorched tablecloths and twenty scorched napkins later, Anthony still hadn’t figured out the art of ironing. Deciding it was better to quit while he was ahead, he turned off the iron and went in search of Paige. He found her in the kitchen where she was sitting in front of a chopping block.

  “Paige! Psst!”

  Paige looked up from the pile of onions she was chopping, her eyes all wet and teary.

  “Anthony!” she sobbed.

  He grabbed her by the hand. “Come on! Let’s get out of here. We weren’t raised for this kind of work. We’ve lived in the lap of luxury for far too long!”

  Thirty minutes la
ter they were at the Frosted Cupcake sipping hot chocolates. Anthony was gazing at a photo of Max that Paige had taken on their weekend in the Hamptons.

  “We have to ask him,” Paige said. “What else can we do? Every plan we’ve come up with has failed.”

  “But it’s going to mess everything up.”

  “Wouldn’t you rather know?”

  “Yes. No. I don’t know!”

  “Who’s that a picture of?” Roger asked while dropping off some extra marshmallows for their cocoa.

  “Our crush,” Anthony said.

  “Our crush?”

  “We don’t know if he’s gay or straight,” Paige explained.

  “And you both like him.”

  “Uh-huh,” Anthony said.

  Roger plucked the picture from Anthony’s hand and stared at it. “Well, you both have good taste. He’s cute.”

  “You think?” Anthony asked.

  “Yep. Just make sure he’s not a player like your last boyfriend.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I didn’t know how to tell you at the time and then when you broke up with him, I figured, well, what was the point? But Ian used to drop in here a lot without you. And it wasn’t just for the cupcakes.”

  “Spill it, Roger.”

  “A lot of gay guys come here. You know that. Ian knew it, too. He’d flirt with them. Exchange phone numbers. That sort of thing.”

  “I knew it!” Anthony exclaimed. “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! He was cheating on me way before P-Town!”

  “You were right about him all along,” Paige said.

  “How could I have such lousy taste in a boyfriend?” Anthony moaned.

  Roger gave the picture of Max back to Anthony. “Not really. I mean, you broke things off with him. You went with your instincts.”

  “Don’t worry, Anthony,” Paige said. “You’ll find your Mr. Right. Eventually.”

  “Eventually could be five years from now. I want eventually to be today!”

  “Why do you want eventually to be today?” Colleen asked, walking up to the table.

  “Boyfriend issues,” Paige explained.

  Colleen slipped into the armchair opposite Paige.

  “What can I get for you?” Roger asked.

  “I’ll have a cup of peppermint tea. By the way, I love your vest. So colorful! Where did you buy it?”